


I Forgive You

by KatieV



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Bonding, F/F, F/M, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gen, Glimmer being an idiot off scene, Other, PTSD, Trauma, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:08:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26258437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieV/pseuds/KatieV
Summary: Catra's been thinking a lot about having a private talk with Entrapta, so when, a few days after the removal of Horde Prime's chip, Entrapta shows up in her room with the intention of checking on her healing progress, she instantly agrees.CW for brief mentions of emotional and physical trauma.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 101





	I Forgive You

**Author's Note:**

> I really wish there were more season 5 scenes of Catra and Entrapta bonding, because they had so much to talk about and we've seen so little of it. Also, I know a lot of Entrapta fans weren't satisfied with the apology scene; I was personally okay with it, but I, too, feel like the writers could have elaborated on it at least a bit more. Since they didn't, I decided to write a scene where the two of them have a chance to talk things over better. I really hope you'll enjoy this mess of emotions I'm offering you.

After that one time when she'd removed Horde Prime's chip, Catra didn't really have any other chance to talk to Entrapta in private. They normally didn't even see each other outside the control room where everyone gathered from time to time to share a meal or just chat or have a good laugh about meaningless little things such as how much Wrong Hordak admired that awful pink nightshirt-wannabe piece of cloth Adora had found in the ship's storage room while looking for supplies for dinner, or how much Bow freaked out after realising that Glimmer had been using one of his three-branched arrows as a fork ever since she'd been on the ship. Entrapta barely ever left the control room, and usually she wasn't alone in there, and Catra didn't want anyone else to be around while talking to her, but for some reason, she failed to understand why, she didn't want to ask her to come to her room either. She tried to convince herself that it wasn't because she was scared. Why would she be scared of Entrapta? She'd helped her by removing that chip and setting her free from all those horrible visions of Prime she'd been having while being part of his hive mind. She'd been nothing but nice to her, even after everything that'd happened between the two of them back in the Fright Zone. There was definitely nothing scary about Entrapta. So Catra told herself that she didn't ask her to come to her room simply because the things she wanted to discuss with her were not important.

Either way, when one day, right after she woke up from a nap, Entrapta just casually turned up in her room with a bunch of various tools peeking out of her pockets, babbling something about a checkup she needed to carry out on her condition after the removal of the chip, first "for the experiments log", and then "just in case", Catra found herself agreeing instantly without questioning her. She didn't even care what exactly this so-called checkup would involve. As long as it served as a good reason for her to talk to Entrapta, she didn't mind whatever she was planning to do to her.

"Do I need to take off my top or anything?" she asked timidly.

"Oh, no, don't worry about that," Entrapta assured. "Just stay sitting on the bed and do this." She stretched out her arms to the side, and Catra copied her hesitantly. Entrapta grinned then grabbed her voice recorder and held it to her mouth with a lock of hair while removing her gloves and tucking them into her pocket.

"Follow-up on experiment number 982, exactly 124 Etherian hours after the extraction and deactivation of the chip," she dictated to the recorder while walking round Catra and observing her thoroughly, first from a comfortable distance, then getting closer and closer. Catra warily kept following her with her eyes. "Subject gave permission to carry out a checkup examination on her recovery progress and the possible physiological effects or repercussions."

Catra let out a quiet groan. The only repercussion she could think of would be the annoying nightmares she kept having ever since Adora had brought her here, but she doubted those were something Entrapta would be interested in, and even is she was, there was no way she'd be willing to share them with her.

She suddenly shivered when she felt Entrapta touching her shoulder from behind, right below the sleeve of her top, and running her fingers through her fur. Her touch was gentle and careful, but Catra couldn't help remembering the crawly feeling of Horde Prime's hand resting right at the same spot, and the memory made her feel queasy. She shuddered and tensed her muscles, hoping that Entrapta wouldn't notice.

Even if she noticed, she didn't comment on it. She pulled back her hand from Catra's body and lifted up the voice recorder again. "Subject's fur is dense, shiny and smooth, just like healthy feline fur is supposed to be." She turned to Catra and moved closer to her face, so uncomfortably close that Catra started to feel an urge to pull back, but she forced herself to sit still and let Entrapta examine her eyes and her nose. "Open your mouth wide!" Entrapta instructed, holding the voice recorder away but keeping some of her hair on the record button. Catra obeyed, her tail waggling nervously as Entrapta was glaring at her teeth and her tongue. "Ocular, nasal and oral mucosae and teeth are all intact." She grabbed her wrist and pressed two fingers somewhere round the base of her thumb. "Pulse is slightly fast but within the normal range. By examination, no anomaly detected in vital functions, but for this, subject's confirmation is also necessary," she said to the recorder, then she turned to Catra. "Does your body function normally? Any significant changes? Digestion? Respiratory system? Nervous system? Have you noticed anything unusual?"

"I don't think so," Catra replied. She suddenly thought of how different and less awkward this would be if it wasn't Etrapta being this close to her, carefully checking each and every bit of her. She imagined a pair of blue eyes running over her body, golden locks of hair floating gently in the air... She blushed, shook her head and swept that goddamn thought away, right when Entrapta got behind her and lifted herself up with her hair to check the back of her neck where Horde Prime's chip had been embedded earlier. She held the recorder back to her mouth with a lock of hair while leaning closer.

"Visible cicatrix is observed in the place of the removed Horde chip," she noted, gently touching the scar with the tip of her hair. Catra winced and groaned. She didn't really feel any pain, but it was still very unpleasant. "Slightly sensitive to tactile input, but not unusually so." She looked at Catra's face again and grinned cheerfully. "Okay, great, we're done. Thanks for your cooperation." She put her recorder away and moved back from Catra's bed using her hair, but she didn't get too far away. Catra looked up to her face, unsure of what's next.

"Is that all?" she asked.

Entrapta nodded. "Yup. You are completely healthy."

"Well, it's... good to hear that," Catra replied shily. Of course she was healthy after She-Ra's powerful healing magic and finally getting rid of that horrible chip. She didn't even understand why Entrapta'd thought this whole examination was necessary. Not like she actually cared, she'd only agreed to this for her own reasons. For a moment, she studied Entrapta's face before she started to speak again. "Um, can you please stay? Just... for a little while," she asked, though Entrapta didn't really seem to be keen to leave anyway. "We kind of... haven't really talked much... in a while."

Entrapta sat down on the bed next to her, quite close, but not close enough for their bodies to touch, and stared at her with an intrigued smile on her face.

"So, do you want to talk about something in particular?" she asked curiously, making Catra blush so hard that she had to look away.

"Yeah, sort of..." she answered, staring at her own hands resting on her knee. It took all her willpower to lift her head back up and face Entrapta again. "Look, I... I really am sorry. For... You know. Everything. I know no matter how many times I say it, I can't make it right... but... I'm sorry."

"Oh." Entrapta seemed to be a bit confused, but she was still smiling. "We've talked about this earlier, remember? I've told you I forgive you."

"Yes, I know," Catra replied quickly. "I just... don't understand why you don't hate me."

"I'm not sure I'm following your logic," Entrapta blinked, scratching her head. "Do you want me to hate you?"

"No, that's not..." Catra started, but then she suddenly swallowed the rest of the words. She sighed and turned away again, blushing, her tail swinging nervously behind her, slightly touching one of Entrapta's pigtails once, then quickly moving the other way. Of course, she shouldn't have expected it to go so smoothly. This was Entrapta, after all. Catra cleared her throat and looked up again. "No. I don't want you to hate me. I just don't get it. You... forgave me so easily."

"All the others did, too," Entrapta pointed out, absently playing with the tip of her pigtail.

"Well, yeah..." Catra clenched her fists on her knees, and her tail was moving even faster behind her back. They all really did forgive her, didn't they? She slid her fingers against the back of her neck where she could feel the scar left by Prime's chip. After all that they'd been through, after all that she'd done to her, to all of them, was it really that easy for her to gain their forgiveness? Even Adora's forgiveness? Did she really deserve to belong here with them just because after all those terrible decisions, she'd done one single good thing in her life?

Entrapta slowly got up and took a few steps towards the door. Catra was following her with her eyes, thinking that she was about to leave, but she stopped just a couple of inches away from the entrance.

"I don't know about them, but I know how it feels when you want to belong somewhere so badly, and you're trying real hard, but it's not enough," she said quietly. She was still facing towards the door and away from Catra, her pigtails seemed to be quite tense, slightly lifted from the ground in a curved position, as if she was ready to wrap them around herself, but they didn't move. "I believe people who do their best deserve a chance. And a second chance as well. Because we all make mistakes. I know you're a good person, Catra."

"I've hurt you," Catra muttered.

"Yes you have," Entrapta nodded. "And I won't forget that. But when I lived with you guys in the Fright Zone, for the first time in my life, I felt home. And I won't forget that either."

Catra snorted. If Entrapta had really felt home in the Fright Zone, that was definitely not because of her. She'd never done anything to make her feel that way. Scorpia was the one who'd cared about her feelings, who'd treated her like a friend, who'd really appreciated all her hard work. Scorpia and...

"Oh, come on, we both know it wasn't me that made you stay with the Horde," she grumbled, and Entrapta suddenly turned around, her welding mask covering her face. Catra didn't even remember seeing her pull it down.

"He was there on the ship, too, wasn't he?" Entrapta asked.

It was so obvious who she was talking about, but Catra was speechless. She shivered as the memories invaded her brain, the agonising pain in her whole body, the horrific sounds of her own screams echoing in the room, melding together with the chanting of the clones all around. The hopelessness, the numbness, the emptiness. How was she supposed to tell this to Entrapta? How was she supposed to tell her that she'd witnessed Hordak go through the exact same thing just because she'd reminded him of who he really was? That she hadn't done anything but stand there and watch Prime torture him? All this after separating him from Entrapta, probably the only person he'd ever truly cared about. Catra flattened her ears and buried her face behind her knees. Everything that had happened, it was all her fault. How could she ever truly accept Entrapta's forgiveness for what she'd done to her and Hordak? _Do you want me to hate you?_ Maybe her real answer was yes. Because that was what she deserved. And there was nothing in the whole universe that could change that.

"Leave," she hissed quietly. Entrapta didn't move an inch.

"You've seen him, haven't you?" she asked desperately, almost begging. "Please, I need to know wha—"

"I said leave!" Catra snapped. The hair all over her arms was spiked, her tail was wagging restlessly, and she tried so hard to keep her body still, but she knew that Entrapta'd already seen how strongly she was trembling. "You've done your little experiment on me, now go and mess with the ship or something!"

Instead of obeying, Entrapta stepped a bit closer and settled herself on the floor in front of the bed. A pink screwdriver fell out of her pocket and rolled away with a soft clinking sound. It was close enough that if she'd wanted, she could have easily grabbed it with her hair to pull it back, but she didn't care at all. She was just sitting there quietly, looking down at her own knees through the glass of her welding mask.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to upset you. I just thought you might know what happened to him... But I shouldn't have asked you about what you've seen there. I didn't consider your feelings and the fact that you may be traumatised by what you've been through, and this was very selfish of me."

Catra couldn't see her face behind the mask, but hearing the way her voice cracked was enough for her to realise that maybe she wasn't the only one who'd seen this pointless checkup as nothing more but an opportunity to talk to Entrapta in private. Maybe Entrapta had been doing the same, maybe she'd made up this whole thing just to get a chance to ask her about Hordak. And Catra couldn't blame her. Sometimes, even back then in the Fright Zone, she'd caught herself admiring Entrapta's courage and strength. She knew so little about emotions and relationships, and yet it seemed to be so easy for her to just open up and be honest about her own feelings. After all that love and forgiveness she'd given her, Entrapta had the right to get the answers she was looking for. She deserved to know the truth, no matter how much it hurt.

When Entrapta got up and started to walk away, Catra reached out, trying to grab her arm. She wasn't fast enough to do that, but at least she managed to catch one of her pigtails, making her stop.

"It's not selfish to worry about a friend," she said quietly, suddenly thinking of Adora again. "Listen, there's no easy way to say this." She sighed and slowly let go of Entrapta's hair, which, instead of dropping down, stayed in the air in the exact same position. "But I want to be honest with you."

Entrapta walked up to her and sat back to the bed while using her hand to lift up her welding mask, revealing her face once again. Catra had never seen her eyes shine so eagerly before.

"Is he okay? What did he do to him?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"Last time I saw him, he..." Catra swallowed loudly, her fingers tightened into a fist. She was desperately trying to find the right words, but the memories flooded her again, and they were too fresh and too realistic, making it almost impossible to think clearly. "I... On the ship, there was this... creepy pool full of some weird goo, and he was... I was..." The screaming and chanting in her head grew louder, and she could almost feel that bright greenish liquid burning her skin. Sharp pain shot through the back of her neck, and she shivered, her fur spiking up.

"Catra, it's okay," Entrapta said softly. "You don't have to go into details if it upsets you."

Catra took a deep breath, nodding gratefully.

"He was brainwashed," she whispered, absently raising her hand to touch the scar on her neck. She hadn't wanted Entrapta to ever see her this vulnerable, but now she just couldn't care anymore.

To her surprise, Entrapta gave her a light smile when their glances met. Her eyes were full of sadness, and yet, her gaze was strangely hopeful.

"But he'll be alright," she said, her tone almost interrogative. "I mean, Adora's brought you back, so there has to be a way to save him, too, right?"

Catra found herself smiling back at her. She herself still had no idea how exactly Adora had managed to snap her out of Prime's control, but she definitely knew the person who'd be able to do the same for Hordak. After all, she'd witnessed what he'd been like after getting separated from Entrapta. A spark of guilt flared up inside her, but she didn't let it overcome her. She could feel awful and hate herself and blame herself all she wanted later when she'd be alone, but not right now. This moment was Entrapta's, not hers.

"Yes," she nodded. "He'll be fine. Just... don't give up on him, okay?" she added, remembering Adora's words, the words that had given her so much strength to fight for her own free will back then.

"I would never give up on him," Entrapta replied.

"Good."

Catra got up and walked to the wall to pick up the screwdriver Entrapta'd dropped earlier, and as soon as she touched it, she heard Entrapta's voice behind her.

"Catra," she said quietly. Catra looked back at her. "Thank you for telling me all this. I really appreciate it. I know it was difficult for you."

Catra tensed her fingers around the screwdriver, then handed it to Entrapta.

"It's the least I could do fo—" Before she could finish the sentence, two tiny arms wrapped around her body, softly but firmly, followed by a blanket of violet hair, and all the rest of the words she was about to say suddenly got lost somewhere in her throat.

"I'm sorry, I'm not as good at hugs as Scorpia," Entrapta muttered into her chest.

Catra's mind went completely blank, and she couldn't move a single muscle. Part of her felt like this was too much, she wanted Entrapta to let her go and leave, but another part was longing to hug her back, to accept all that love and affection she was offering her. But she couldn't. She was just standing there still, breathing heavily, not knowing what to do or say.

That is how Adora found them a few moments later, when she entered Catra's room. As soon as she noticed she was there, Catra's eyes widened and she flinched in Entrapta's embrace, who pulled away just enough to see what was going on, but didn't release her. Catra blushed hard and looked away, wishing it had been anyone, _anyone else_ instead of Adora who'd walked on them. But Adora didn't seem to be bothered at all.

"Ah, there you are," she grinned. "I've been looking for you two everywhere. Glimmer's just found a really weird First Ones' board game in the back cabin, and we're about to try it. You wanna come and join us?"

"Oooh, what kind of board game?" Entrapta asked happily, letting go of Catra so suddenly that she lost her balance for a second and nearly fell over. "This is so exciting! I've never played a board game with non-robots!"

She bounced out of the room, and Adora walked up to Catra, reaching out her hand towards her.

"Come," she said, smiling. "It's going to be fun."

She knew it wouldn't last long, but as they walked out of the room hand in hand, Catra felt like no amount of guilt could surpass the gratitude she felt for having these wonderful people, _her friends_ , around her just when she needed them most.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: the original idea was just Entrapta explaining Catra why she forgave her "so easily". Catra telling Entrapta about Hordak was a separate concept I've had, and I didn't plan to include it in any fanfiction, but I ended up using it because it fits here so well.
> 
> Comments are appreciated!


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